Biting Off More Than I Can Chew (A reflection on my productivity and bad habits)

I'm currently writing this in my universities library under the pretense that I can't leave until I write a blog post, since I seem to have fallen behind in posting weekly, which I think quite nicely sets the scene for the subject of this post. I've been recently struggling to self motivate myself to work, which is odd considering that I really genuinely enjoy the work which I have to do, but I've just gotten myself stuck in a circle of preparing to work but never taking the plunge into becoming productive, and it doesn't help that no matter how much work I do it never feels significant enough to be considered 'enough' due to how much work I have set. I think part of the reason for this is that the stakes are quite high in terms of failing, dropping out, disappointing the people who supported me to get here, and potentially destroying my future career opportunities, if we're thinking catastrophically that is anyway. And of course this way of thinking is daft, letting my mind fall into the consequences of not doing work will only further increase the chances of me doing nothing that day but feeling dreadful for not doing any work, but it's a habit that I fall more into the more I fall behind (Obviously I am a model student though if you're reading this, Dad).

I think if I am to move forward in a more productive manner I need to overcome the initial hurdle of the intimidation, I think a good place to start with this is by setting myself smaller, more achievable targets for each day and each week. This is something I have started to do in some capacity already, I've started to assign myself tasks that I must complete in a day on a post-it note at the start of the day, this way my mind isn't trying to spread itself so thin trying to accomplish as much as possible resulting in achieving nothing. It's ticking boxes and feeling relaxed doing so because I have sorted my workload into chunks that create a parameter for a feeling of being 'productive' in which I can relax knowing that I have that goal to work towards.

I think by setting myself these smaller targets starting working is a much less daunting task, since it's realistic and achievable, and if I do this daily I keep myself productive in a way in which I can stay on top of a large set of projects without it feeling like I'm taking on an impossible task.